Our Little Secret & Chartwell Manor

Book Review by Kevin Wolf

Sometimes the best you can hope for is shedding some light in dark places by trying to bring the truth out. The graphic works discussed here are emotionally draining and might trigger very personal reactions related to childhood sexual trauma that the reader might want to avoid. Unfortunately, a lot of people have a tale of childhood sexual abuse that occurred close to home. According to the United States Center for Disease Control, though likely underestimates, about 25% of girls and 8% of boys experience sexual abuse in childhood; and 91% of the abuse comes from a person “known and trusted by the child or child’s family members.” I went to a grammar school (grades K-5) with a P.E. (physical education) teacher—whose outside activities included being a boy scout leader and summer camp instructor—with a stellar reputation among many parents and children but for others had a deeply disturbing dark side. Toward the end of his life some people came forward to praise him, which led to others who he allegedly sexually assaulted in childhood to also step forward with their stories from decades earlier. In the fall of 2014 and into early 2015 there were articles—alleging his abuse going back to at least 1968—written about him in the Chicago Tribune; he died in early 2015 at age 94 before any of his accusers faced him in court. As older adults, Emily Carrington in Our Little Secret and Glenn Head in Chartwell Manor tell their own painful stories of childhood sexual trauma. Both works provide pleas to trauma victims and perpetrators. The plea to victims is to recognize it’s not your fault and seek help as early as possible as any period of abuse can have a lifelong negative impact. And the plea to perpetrators—in vain in these stories—is to acknowledge and regret their abusive behavior because that matters to the abused. For both cartoonists, the darkness can be somewhat lightened by bringing the truth out with their memoirs and hope this will help others better understand their situation.

Our Little Secret

Our Little Secret revolves around the sexual abuse that occurred when Emily was fifteen. We see her lack of secure homelife and isolation, which led to avoiding home and spending more and more time with her eventual abuser. Emily’s older self explains the grooming process, her guilt, why she couldn’t tell anyone, further isolation, self-abuse (drinking, suicidal thoughts, affairs with older men—often bosses—in adulthood), getting away from her abuser, and, after a much later encounter, an attempt at legal justice. These events had such a great impact on her life, that we don’t learn much more—outside the abuse—about Emily’s life activities except those pre-dating the abuse. Through the course (meta-like) of talking directly to the reader—or we could be watching her therapy sessions with an unseen therapist—Emily explains the process of becoming prey to Richard’s predation. Richard (age 40; co-owner of the land with her father; this name appears to not be a pseudonym) was a trusted friend of her clueless dad; and sometimes hired to help her dad build his log cabin.

Sadly, Emily recalls only one day that she enjoyed the company of each of her parents. Away from her fighting angry parents, as a fourteen-year-old, Emily’s only peaceful refuge were her animals—her horse and several sheep. Her dad—a heavy smoker—quit his job as a school principal when Emily was ten. Her mom thought he was manic-depressive; and Emily in adulthood thought he was “possibly delusional or narcissistic, and certainly at times a pompous ass [page 22].” Her mom at times could become enraged, throw things and slap Emily for little reason. “It made me feel like the worst person in the world,” Emily writes [23]. When Emily was around age 11 her parents separated to different provinces of Canada; her mom leaves with Emily’s younger brother, while Emily remains with her dad to avoid being hit any more by her mom. Her father, now living in a trailer without running water, electricity, or heat, is haphazardly trying to build a log cabin where flies proliferate (emblematic of a shitty life). Furthermore, even their location is isolated on Prince Edward Island (PEI), the smallest province of Canada. Ironically, PEI has the motto parva sub ingenti (“the small protected by the great”); however, Emily lacked protection by any authority (parental, legal, school, etc.). Emily had her horse (“Lady”) and pet sheep for comfort. Emily writes, “I was from a broken home … a girl with no mother … to protect her … a father … clueless [37]”

Richard, who had a daughter Emily’s age (14), had a heated home which he used to his advantage by inviting, Emily to sleep in his home. Emily, as an adult, visually forewarned the reader of the coming abuse. Carrington, the artist/writer, initially draws Richard with a scribbled, obscured face. When he comes into focus, his puffy face always has scratchy beard stubble.  Even Richard’s word balloons’ designs are scary—beyond their creepy content—by their tail going right into his mouth and being black with white letters when the abuse occurs. Even then she tries to be fair by saying, “For [Richard] knew better than to abuse his own daughter … It’s really a shame … Richard [age forty] really screwed up … he had a chance to be a hero … someone who helped a kid [i.e., Emily] in need when her own parents couldn’t … [56].” Emily shows the abusing process in detail. Her dad saw the abuse starting and didn’t stop it. When she later speaks (in therapy) of her forty-year-old abuser she says “About when Richard took my virginity … [89]” and is quickly corrected by the therapist to call this tragedy “rape.” On page 92, we see a blue pen drawing—probably from that time in Emily’s life—showing her with a ball and chain and as a target in the cross-hairs with several religious (Jesus-like figure with fake halo) or mythological (Atlas carrying the world) symbols with no ability to get away. “Our little secret [103]” becomes the mantra Richard tells Emily—not having a protector—to not expose the abuse, but instead carry the trauma alone into adulthood …

To eventually get away, Emily seeks emancipation from her living situation … the only time the justice system provided some relief to her. She uses the lack of utilities (hot water, electricity, indoor plumbing, etc.) to be allowed to live in a foster home.

She keeps the sexual abuse hidden … long into adulthood. Until Emily shockingly—“27 years, 7 months, and 5 days after Richard first raped me … [111]”—encounters him again. Only lawsuits remained for some attempt at justice, but even then, turning to the legal system wasn’t much help; moving slowly … almost to a halt. In the end all that remains is exposure through Our Little Secret; but it’s not the movie type ending where the abused gets (or reader sees) a fully satisfying resolution. Instead, it’s the typical messiness that occurs in life … a hope that lessons will be learned, the victim will find a protector (even if it’s their future self) and the abuse will stop. There’s a worthwhile Afterword (235) with sources for information provided over the course of Our Little Secret.

Chartwell Manor

Chartwell Manor is a very hard book to read. Be warned that traumatic events, both physical beatings and sexual abuse by a sadistic man running a boarding school, are on display. The author appeared on NPR’s (national public radio) 1A with Jen White on August 9, 2021. Glenn Head spoke about “Glenn” as the artist/writer, while “Glen” (with one “n”), his auto-biographical character in Chartwell Manor, provided some distance to present painful events; so, Glenn can be an observer of Glen at Chartwell. In the foreword of Chartwell Manor he writes, “This book tells the story of a childhood boarding school experience, and then delves with even greater detail into the reverberations of that experience in later life. … It is a book about scars and how we recover from them. … That growth is possible. … The two years I did at Chartwell had a profound effect on me. With trauma (this is the only time that word appears in this book!), the aftermath is a motherfucker.” Throughout this review, I’ll use Head when I mean the cartoonist/author of Chartwell Manor and Glen when I mean his character.

Chartwell Manor opens with an ashtray full of cigarette butts, lots of alcohol swigging, and blaring music “Jumpin Jack Fl[ash] … schooled … with a strap—right across my back! [4, see endnote[i]]” Jumping back in time to September 1971, Glen entered Chartwell Manor to repeat seventh grade at age thirteen. If one now does an internet search for Chartwell Manor boarding school then child sexual abuse rises to the forefront; including many mentions of Chartwell Manor, the graphic novel reviewed here. Chartwell Manor, A British school, named after Winston Churchill’s (UK Prime Minister, May 1940 – Jul. 1945 and Oct. 1951 – Apr. 1955) home, began in 1969/1970 and ended in 1984, though it had prior guises with construction started in 1923 and initial name Phareloch castle. The tower and gabled look of Chartwell Manor in old photos in Mendham New Jersey, U.S.A. give a haunted appearance, while Head’s Manor’s imagery drips from a lightening-filled rainstorm. Head introduces us to “Sir,” Headmaster Terrence Michael Lynch’s demanded name from the students at Chartwell Manor. An online article indicates that there were sixty-at-a-time students boarding there; while Head indicates there were “about a hundred” mostly boys and a few girls ages 5-15 (grades 1-8) boarding there. In addition, Sir’s wife helped supervise the students (being, Head writes, “many [boys] from wealthy families … most were ‘troubled’ [9].”) First indication of worse sexual trauma to follow was Sir’s nightly kiss “Night night,” he’d say! Corporal punishment  was part of the selling point to parents, though only occasional spanking was mentioned. While the actual beatings were with a hairbrush, paddle or cane depending on incident; all with pants down. Sir demanded honesty and no smoking from the students. Early on, Glen gets known for his drawing; and many are displayed in the lobby of Chartwell Manor. Glen spends weekends at home.

Sir seemingly had two personalities: smarmy for parents and no-guff, authoritarian, demanding hero worship for his charges, when the parents weren’t around. Sir’s actions were creepy; for example, at night in the dorms, wearing his bathrobe and lying next to a student, he would tell allegedly true tales from his Catholic boarding school days about naked “satanists” and priests praying for Sir’s soul. Perhaps he was trying to say where his warped actions came from. The school used thirty-year-old history textbooks. “The assemblies were held before breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. Lynch behind the podium …. The students in neat rows according to grade [30, emphasis in original].” Sir would slap kids for whispering while he spoke; and he’d later be even creepier speaking of his actions being due to how much he “love[d] you all” [31]. Head indicates the kids were “affection starved” and Sir doled out supportive words to gain trust of the students. Sir’s (sexual) abuse only worsens over the days and weeks that follow.

Abuse occurred among the boys, as well. Older boys demanded money from Glen that he didn’t have; but that was the only abuse Glen felt comfortable talking to his parents about. Anger was broiling within Glen; and fist fights would break out in the dorms with all the kids cheering it on. Glen took up smoking ‘cigs.’ Glen bullies a younger student for a little money, and that kid turned him in, resulting in Sir beating Glen mercilessly in front of the other students. Sir later gets Glen to promise to not tell his parents about the beating. Nor did any teachers! Glen shuts down at home; while his parents were uncertain about returning him to school; but it was “paid for…. [52]” Glen’s only consolation was he was allowed to bring his motorcycle (a gift from his parents) back to school only to have an accident. The boys also had their own sexual gratification events, whether as part of normal adolescence or reaction to the abuse around them isn’t clear.

“Glennio,” his nickname among his peer boarders, learns about underground comix from another student who brings in a copy of Zap Comics No. 4 and Snatch Comics. The underground comics were published outside the mainstream Comics Code Authority. To flaunt their freedom, the undergrounds had over the top porn, misogyny, and lots of swearing; often with the tagline “For Adults Only.” And Glen, while holding Zap No. 4, is immediately caught by Sir; only to be allowed to keep the comix after Sir calls them “filth!” Head gives credit to the underground cartoonists he includes in Chartwell Manor. In some ways the underground comic fantasies reinforce the actual abuse that was occurring around Glen.

For graduation day, Sir wrote the nothing-but-praise student speeches which added to the surrealism of that day. Champaign after the ceremony led to a drunk Glen vomiting on his parents’ car. Age 17 Glen didn’t fit in back in regular school; partly being a hippie among his non-hippie peers. Porn became his primary “reading matter;” which his mom later confiscates. When Glen shows a failing grade in algebra—Chartwell never led to improvement in math grades—he attempts to bring out the truth about his days at Chartwell Manor, but it becomes painful for his mom to address. His mom recognizes Chartwell’s “corporal punishment was a little excessive [94].” But she doesn’t want to talk about that or the other abuse that occurred there; only saying stuff like “We had no other place we knew of to send you … Chartwell was recommended … [93] [and …] The past doesn’t own you—I refuse to let it own me! [emphasis in original, 95],” latter being deliberately passive-tensely said. She literally spits some of her words out of her mouth. His dad acts as an apologist for Lynch’s spankings, but doesn’t want to hear about all the abuse that happened to his own son!

Glen heads into the way-back machine (my reference, not his) to put his parents in a better light. They only seemed to want Glen to be more successful in school and tutoring and summer school didn’t help turn around Glen’s interest beyond his passion for comics and writing his own. Too bad that wasn’t enough for his teachers and parents. So, his parents settled on Chartwell Manor after a friend said that boarding school helped their son. Glen’s future sexual relations with others were fraught from his abuse at Chartwell. In the 1980s, he smoked, drank and was stoned a lot, went to strip clubs, had random sex often paid for, feared acquiring AIDS though he didn’t use protection, thought about suicide, and porn was his primary entertainment. And a corner of his mind was stuck at Chartwell Manor! At age 30 he joins Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), stayed sober, got tested for HIV, but continues his porn obsession.

In 1988 Glen visits his childhood home, where his parents still live. His mom was insensitive to his need to remain sober. She pointed out an article that she didn’t want to read about Chartwell Manor closing under threat of lawsuits. His dad, like many fathers of that generation, felt if he himself had, which he doesn’t, had a problem, he’d handle it alone and not need something like AA. Almost abuse against Glen, all this talk occurs while both his parents are chugging their beer/wine.

In 1991, Glen is avoiding making an autobio comic, which is becoming more popular at the time, as we see him enthralled by a Twisted Sisters comic. Later he starts to make sketches of the past trauma but is too freaked by it all. A call from a younger Chartwell student told of Lynch’s jailtime followed by a two-page spread of New Jersey newspaper articles (168-169) from 1986. His punishment was from fourteen accusers (12 boys and two girls) and indictment on over 100 counts related to sexual molestation during corporal punishment over three years (1981-1984); a decade after Glen attended. Lynch had been 52-years-old in 1986. Two teachers were also indicted. Glen followed up by calling a New Jersey prosecutor. Head indicates that Lynch had dodged prosecution until 1989 when enough stories surfaced, and many of the accusers’ traumas led to them being unreliable witnesses (drugs, alcohol, unemployment, etc.) with another more reliable witness, a peer of Glen’s, finally stepping forward. The prosecutor told Glen, “You have no idea the number of lives ruined here … the alcohol, drugs, and sex related crime … many hundreds of children passed through that school—for nearly two decades! [172]”

Glen reached out to other ex-Chartwell students to find out their aftermath. One had become an alcoholic and was willing to testify against Lynch; another became a cocaine dealer awaiting trial and later jailed; and one who wanted to reminisce about the friendships made among his peers and warped memories of treatment under Lynch’s anti-tutelage likely ruined that peer’s future relationships. Glen provides some lessons learned and, in the background, hints at other abuse examples, like the Catholic Church, which was starting to make the news in the mid- to late-1980s.

Head provides interesting black & white imagery including difficult-to-watch realism, skid row bleakness, and abstract underground art. There’s a funny knockoff of Davinci’s last supper at a diner (202) while Glen’s discussing how much control anyone has over their sexual choices. A lot of his imagery is chock full of background activities, storefronts (often sleazy) and other people in conversation, even when Glen is deep in his own thoughts. Glen’s sexual infidelities and “gentleman club” visits led to his own relationship difficulties. While Lynch after release from prison is jailed again because of more unlawful sexual conduct.

I recommend both Our Little Secret and Chartwell Manor for their realism and the hope that (potential) victims will gain understanding, be protected, believed, recover, achieve some justice, and find renewal. By writing these memoirs, Emily Carrington and Glenn Head bring their painful past to light. I hope these works bring them some peace.

[i] Partial Lyrics to Jumpin’ Jack Flash by The Rolling Stones (1968) as provided in Chartwell Manor.